a little bit of news

rightso
whats the criac? more laughing on straw mats, helped chill me out a bit today,
a prophet called mark dupont was speaking and called me amoungst a few others to the front and prophencied over us
it was pretty sweet, he said i should read william wilborforces (the stop slavery dude) book and would doing education and general freedom for the people stuff,
quite fancy in a masters in harvard or somewhere.
apart from that i found the nearby reef so i can go swimming with the fishes in the mornings, and we are off to nampula another area this weekend, to check out a chicken farm, its kinda a fairtrade vibe so looking forward to it and a bit of chillin.
peace
g

hungary

i was in a cross cultural class the other day, which is one where the mozambiquian pastors and the students of the school (us) get taught together,

Hedi was teaching about hunger, from the sermon on the mount where it says "blessed are those who hunger and thurst for righteousness for there will be filled"
she then asked any mozambiquians who had a family member or close friend die from starvation to stand up.

about half the room did.

including the guy sat beside me who i had eariler been chatting to. it blew my mind and heart apart, she got them all to stand at the front of the room and pray for us to impart a sense of hunger for God.

but seriously can you imagine being so poor that your own mother died of starvation before you and you couldnt even buy her a bit of rice or something, the only reason you didnt die was cause of your youth. that means you both had nothing and i mean nothing to eat for about 30 days. some of us miss breakfast or a few meals, but try doing a 24 hour fast and you'll be feeling it, and the debilitating cycle of trying to find work or water or whatever as you starve. And here are these guys who we are living with who have gone through it, there are guys who have seen God moving in miracles like raising the dead, there are really chilled out friendly guys. Its ridculous, like you can get a meal in local restaurant for 17p so in that room of say 50 pastors like 25 of their friends and familes lives could have been saved for 2.40. a pint. If thats not enough for us cause a relovution i dont know what is.

in other news 200+ people got baptisted yesterday, including me, took part in casting out a demon from a girl, have been smiling lots and enjoying the sun.

coughing demons, eating ice cream and other tales of the pemba underground

another we while has passed in this sublime and magnicient poverty. on the down side i got 18 bites for a certain fly which lays eggs below the skin and as i innocently itched my "bites" the eggs hatches and grew into little worms. I only discovered this as in the shower (of which the water has only been running long enough to have two of on the last two and half weeks) i squeezed one of these bites the the strange looking pussy thing that came out began to wiggle, nice. Despite this is the closest i will ever come to pregnancy no maternal instincts develped and i killed every one of the beggers.

apart from that have been having some good banter with the other nutters who travelled over for the craic. crazyness includes a guy who helped out behind the scences on a trip i did to romania in 2000 (represent to kairos krew) and a girl who learned spanish in turrialba, the base of my expedition in Costa Rica (big up)

spiritual stuff is still on full throttle, currently "having a healing" of my hip, after some nice and spicy prayer last tuesday i considered myself healed and promptly burned all the medication i had with me for it (a couple of hundred pills) it has then given me reducing pain up until today when post some more blasting prayer i was able to sprint around the base, not just a crap jog but full-on pelting it, the elation was slightly marred by the blisters incured running around on hard african ground :) the hip is still a bit stiff but its definately the best state its been in over 5 months so thanks to Jesus for that one.

post the run i went back into the tent where we all meet and there was lots of deliverance going on, and as a guy prayed for me i felt weird coughs come up from with in me and then like i was bringing up and spitting up something nasty, this happened three times and i felt all the better for it so i guess the casting out demons thing is a bit more normal than i had imagined to.

for those who are interested Mark 16, Mat 8v16+17 amoungst many others might help any questions of what the funk am i talking about. otherwise peace out.

I stand up but i get knocked down again,

its only been one week, but it could have been a year or maybe longer, not so much spiritual growth as explosion.

church now involves falling over laughing, which is pure brilliant, there is a sort of mad simplicity to Christianity out here.

Jesus loves you, all thats going on in the world is a little to much for comprehension, so simple trust in God and enjoying Him is all that is required. Compared to the stern nonsense of much of my attitude to faith, its a total breath of fresh air.

I went on outreach last wknd, which involved packing up a truck of westerners mozambiquen pastors, a sound system, projector and generator, driving two hours into the bush and getting involved. it was a truly humbling experience to live alongside those in absolute poverty even if for only 48hours, seeing women pound millet for half an hour to get a crap rice substitue which, will not even nourish her 5 or 6 kids. The ground so dry and hard, the people so beautiful yet desperate, i ended up crying my eyes out, broken. but then that night when we showed the video and people understood that jesus loved them and that that meant he could heal them. A bold statement from a western perspective, not so bold as you watch an old man touching his toes to try out his newly healed back, or you watch a man could fingers from his 10 minutes earlier blind eye. Yes miracles happen, I have seen it with my own eyes, you and can see it with yours. Not everyone was healed and it was hard to understand why, but the healing is Jesus business, all we do is pray and the longer i am here the less understanding seems to matter, only trusting.

mozambique pt 1

alright the world
just landed in pemba after a bit of a monster journey
its all good out hear, just how i like it sunny, no running water for the last three days, eating rice and beans with my hands, carrying blocks and meeting new ppl
seriously but more pastors graduated from their school than have probably trained in ireland in about 10years, then there were about 10 batisms, then feeding the local communitythen distributing food to widows. its pretty immense but in a very normal way, met some cool people, a dude who sold his house to buy a plane to be a missionary,talking to a guy from norway who the last time he was flying through dubai (where i flew threw) was to smuggle bibles ;)its like a world select of hardcore christians out here.
but yeah all is good, its a bit of a mission to get to internet so might be a while before i do this again....

chineese with mista jam, dj hix, pete and oliva

last night at about 3am i went for chilly fried squid with misterjam (radio 1 xtra dj) hix (an AMAZINF local hip hop /rnb dj - and you know he's good for me to apprciate those tunes) pete ( a super hero who introducted me to hix and this night) and olivia (who was running the front of house with pete) it was after my first gig in my new vj residency (YOOO) at a night called vibe in the sugar rooms at the pothouse.

it was all a bit short notice - i was only back from london on sat and heard on sun, and had major complications from my vj laptop being the one that got stroked in london, but it was alright on the night and i definately played my best set to date, it was another 3hr marathon but i generally lloved it :) so get down there on a thurs if you are in the 'fast

althogh i wont be there again for two months cause im off to Mozambique next friday, awesome.
its a training school with iris ministries who generally roll like Jesus, miracles, loving the poorests of the world and all. i imagine it will be quite a trip, physically mentally and big time spiritually. i cant wait.

thats about all except to say that my profile photo is a lie and i now have hair longer than most girls, which when it isnt getting in my eyes is also most excellent and i would recommend it to all guys who have the opportunity

isaiah 40 revisited

come close,
come close to my friends
says your God

talk gently to belfast,
and tell her the hard days are over,
the selfishness and violence has been paid for,
double the price has been paid,

it was on tv last night
in the countryside, in the sticks
get a road ready for the Lord,
make it wide and smooth,
and motorway for our God

the valleys will be filled in
and the mountain flattened off
the marsh land drained
and the bracken cleared

then the brilliance and mystery of the Lord
will be clear for all to see
God has spoken

someone said shout out, protest,
i said "whats the point"
"what difference can i make?"
"whats just one lifetime"

things move on everytime i look around
there are new buildings and old ones knocked down
new shopping centres and different places
nothing stays the same

only God is constant his words last through everthing

artists, musicans, dancers, promoters and organisers
you who bring a good time to belfast
put on the greatest show on earth,
perform you hearts out, showing everyone
"God lives and loves you"

He looks out for each one of us,
He's got out backs and we can
always rely on him

He picks us up and carries us
in his arms, gentle taking care
of teenagers and kids

Who is like Him?
can anyone hold the ocean in their hands?
who can measure the universe in the span of their hand?
who could hold all the bricks of a city?
who has put skyscrapers on their bathroom scales?

who understands everything?
or know how to comfort us in every situation?

who taught God what he knows?
who showed Him wrong from right?
who explained destiny or purpose to Him?

everything is nothing beside God,
everything we know, see, make and strive for,
humanity is nothing
compared to the scale of God

as for celebrities, the rich and famous,
manisions and limos, diamonds,
private jets, tv series, private islands,
of just the simple things we save up for
and look up to holidays, cars, houses

dont you realise,
havent you know since you were a kid?

He sits above it all, people a like little ants
scurring around, he spoke this planet into existence
he birthed the universe and spins the earth round the sun

he turns movies stars milkmen,
brings rules of this world into line

no sooner than they're elected,
no sooner than they're at number one
they are turned out by their people,
and cameras have swung somewhere else

who is there like God?
who would you put up to him?
who equals him?

look up at the night sky sometime
who put those massive burning gas balls
millions of light years away to twinkle nicely as stars?
they are not just random either he knows each one by name
because He is God they are always shining down

who do you say "no one cares about me"
"nobody knows what im going through"
do you think this might God could get tired?
do you think he would fail to love you?

he built you from cells up, bones, blood, nerves,
eyes, ears, he knows how many hairs are on your head
and you think he is going to get tired?

no chance, just look to him,
he gives you a pick up when your down,
gives you the strength you need,
the poor and weak he loves to help

even the young people get tired,
they make mistakes and hit rock bottom

but if you look to God, hope in Him,
then its on, chill with Him and you
will be soaring like an eagle,
unstopable no matter what life throws at you

in london at the moment working for a friend, the hotel room we're staying in got robbed lost laptop, phone, money, but above is what matters not that crap

holding back from the full embrace

I have been thinking a bit about the darker side to my character, and not so much about trying to ignore it or deny it, but to understand it and embrace it. In an understnading of my weakness and imperfection, there is a freedom. I have often heard people laying the guilt trip to allow God into all our lives and not hold anything back. But I think its the opposite if you hug someone halfheartly you will never feel the fullness of their embrace. Instead of worrying about the dark parts of our character and how God mite not like them, we instead need to trust him when he says He loves all of us and abandon ourselves to the full embrace.

vj your face off

loads of stuff goin on at the mo,
kat and amy from my cell in southampton came over with ruth and emma there and now my friends, i got my first proper vj gig in belfast and put about 30hrs into my set complete with newly learned after effects and priemer skills to play the best set i've done so far, which was cool. even better was that gav my mate was djing at the same time, saturday, was a bit of a trip met some afticans who i did street reach with, got a strange good deal on phones with cash back and then met a random brazillan missionary who got the cash back. one of those truly bizzare moments when you meet someone and know its not by accident and the whole phones thing was probably all invloved in some divine conspiracy to get this chick over to england, but whilst telling me encouraging stories about living by faith and praying for me.
then went and say andy rambo from my costa rica gap year djing in a bar in lisburn called distill which was actually pretty cool, desite cigarettes and a situation where a little kindness was misread. just about to pick up a car tomorrow from a mate, totally free of charge, awesome, big up to Jesus and the old lady who had it, so all being well ill be the prod owner of an automatic 91 metro tomorrow evening awesome! then its off the edinburgh to enjoy the brief few days left of ryan's bachelor life, he will be hitched on sat which is a scary and exciting prospect, with the added bonus of getting to go comando in skirt for the day in a totally socially acceptable way, whoever invented kilts knew a thing or too about freeedom, but then i suppose all scots do...

one monster of a post... 8days of silence... missing the point.... graduation in heat.... fear and loathing all over the place...

in homage to hunter s. thompson (you need to watch fear and loathing in las vegas) this will be a gonzo post, with no structure or organisation beyond the various moments that thoughts cross my mind...

first a follow up to a post way back near easter (two one night stands) i had most alarming text message ever when the girl from that trip informed she had clamidia and i therefore mite to. first point use a condom, shouldnt we all carry them just in case? when we go driving we have absolutely no plan to have an accident yet we wear seat belts just in case. anyway the waiting room of the sti part of the hospital was funny in the darkest sense about 20 men sat round a room that was a little too small all trying to avoid eye contact, feeling uneasy and a little condemmed. The actual examination seemed grand until the swab bit... whatever else anyone says I will gladly be keeping sex until im married to avoid that again; a slighty camp nurse sticking a plastic stick up my little friend... Ouch!....

which leads neatly to an 8 day retreat in dublin, with the jesuits who are a seriously rocking order within the Roman catholic church. The R Cath. church has its bad points no doubt but just trying to get my head around the depth of my spiritual director's relationship with Jesus was head melting. having nowhere to go and nothing to do will seriously chill you out. it took a day or two to get used to silence (apart from the wee chat with the director once a day, no talking) but then reading luke 15 the parables of the lost sheep, coin and prodical son. In which Jesus tells these stories to explain that God is not just standing around with his arms folded because we make mistakes but He is out searching for us, tenderly trying to find us. And when he does there is no reckoning, no "what did you do THAT?!" instead he is overcome with love picks us up onto his sholders and calls a celebration just because he has found us.

to feel that love was pretty mind blowing, it makes me giggle. i scrambled down to the belfast vineyard yesterday morning, pretty hanging and feeling guilty, and by about halfway in i was just laughing and smiling. of course i am a mess of course God knows this of course he still loves
me, i have nothing and He is everything.
for far too long i have been on some sort of death insurance policy trip, the whole christianity thing just making sure i dont end up in some firey pit after popping my cloggs. but that is monumentally missing the point, the confidence and beauty of the love of God accepting me just who i am, and opening up awesome adventures for this life, giving me hope and a super chilling perspective, is well worth jacking in a selfish journey to affluent bordem.

in fact i challenge this whole school>(uni)>work>house>?? cycle, whos idea is it? its like some sort of unquestioned mantra built into our "free" democractic livestyles
the worlds a pretty screwed place, when our world leaders back up a country bombing innocent civilians, when everyday 10,000 kids die of treatable diseases, do you not think we should prehaps consider changing this place instead of just floating along till we have to explain what a mess we have made to our kids?

when world war two was declared everyone had to choose if they would stop their normal lives to go and fight or sit back and let hitler advance. this time round our governments are profiting far too much from the victims and corporations who exploit these countries to ever blow the whistle, so we are going to have to figure out how to effect change ourselves. thankfully these same people will do just about anything to win votes and maintain their power so if we did stand up and make it clear that we will not accept bigger profits in return for the blood of those living in absolute poverty, they would pretty sharpish start responding...


thats quite a swing of madness, i dont really have the engry to tell you about wearing a cape and strange hand shakes in southampton, or a fine pair of trainers i recently acquired. but i will say this lets get richard and ashlene out of the house and leave pete and glynn to win.

pure genius

barry white saved my life

The fun loving criminals played at my grad ball which was awesome, and sang the classic "Barry white saved my life" but yesterday at noah, my Godson's christening my memory card packed up and claimed to be unformatted :( no amount of taking out putting in or batter swapping helped) to it to town today and  it wasnt up for any craic at all

come back home, bit of a google about and find photosaver which for £10 got all the photos back - genius Photosaver saved my life.

technorati tags:life, photography

I can’t tell you what has happened

It’s between the worlds, between souls and reality, somehow described in brush
strokes yet burnt on hearts.  Pain and
desertion, self destruct and eloquence. 
Beauty so much beauty.  In form,
in flesh, in light, surrounded and drowned in beauty.  

Selfish grabs and misunder-standing by myself.
Different countries and consciousness and consequences, different food,
drinks, currencies and still one hunger.   Broken cisterns instead of living water.
Attempted substitution of real love for lust, adventure, sex and extravagance,
running savage burns across people and places, moving fast enough
to fool everyone and thing except my own heart.

Finally, today
when the sun has hidden behind ugly clouds and I have nothing, nothing left
except to be face down on my carpet. 
Here is where I find the answer, the one that makes all questions
irrelevant, that is fitter than any girl, more messy than any night out; the
raw love of God, the passion of a creator who split his son’s blood so that no
matter how hard or far I run he still wants me. 
Craves me, loves me, loves me, loves me.

I can’t really express it, it’s beyond words, brush strokes or musical notes:

unconditional love.

ps.
cool new free album by a dude called draco

just a viva away...

today ill be graham "no exams ever again robinson"
tomorrow ill be graham "finished" robinson
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


There are risks and costs to a program of
action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable
inaction.
John F Kennedy

things i like

just downloaded, the performancing plugin for my internet browser (mozilla firefox) it means you can type up a blog from any webpage, which makes rambling a lot more accessible.... so big up to it.  But also today i found video downloader, so you can get google videos and u-tubes (again firefox extension) and notepad++ which is a pure geek accessory for writting xml in a very handy way.  Sad i know but good if you have an xml exam next week :) have a good weekend party people

quote for the day

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. This will be the beginning. (Louis L'Amour)

this is the end

last ever lecture was attended today. as ever i planned to be on time and somehow managed to be 5 mins late. it was weird because it seemed so normal. just another nail in the uni coffin, will be sad to lower it 6ft under but am ready to step outta the bubble can cause some trouble in the real world...

not so stoked

after a weekend trip up to check out stoke and i dont think ill be going there after all. it was cool and mark is a dude but he works in a wee village with a very old skool church so i dont think i would survive!

so the current plan is to replan, but return to tha hood is well on the cards and it would be sweet to be back in bfast proper.

keep it real

oh yeah and check out shakinda.com if you fancy watching the video about my project or readin the report.

next move

next year is beginning to take a bit more shape, my mate mark from by ibiza 04 team called me to fill me in on a few details. turns out in small town called endon (could u make that up?) which he described as a local place for local ppl (league of gentlemen stylee) has planned a huge multimedia and specifically Vj orientated program for the next year!! on top of that there is lots of dj led worship about 1/7th of the local high school have been to the youth group and it generally seems awesome.
i had been thinking hard about what to do, cause going to stoke on trent of a year seemed like it could be a step back not forward, but then God goes and sorts it out so that its all good:)
only bad thing is i have to go northside, which as a belfast southsider will be painful

not too sure

i nearly pulled yesterdays post today, i dont want it to be offensive of some attention seeking nonsense, just an acurate description of how i was feeling then...
peace

two one night stands

a simple glance, eyes meet, hold and move away. then they come back, a marker pen and jambon written on her tummy, the reason why irrlevant the intial ice broken. later she returns to ask something the music is too loud, it does matter we are together again, the kiss is soon inevitable and well timed, not too long not too short, retreat from the dancefloor, ask her name who she is where she is from. do you want a drink? no thanks. chat some more, a tune comes on whisked off to the dancefloor once more, in the maddness and colour its only her that matters, jumping up and down bouncing off the others our connection is never broken. her friend checks in for approval and to offer the diginifed exit, but its far too late for that she dissmisses her friend and once more it is only her and i. we drift back off the dancefloor, this time drinks are given and recieved vodka and whiskey as if any more were required but that fresh taste of alcohole on her lips when we kiss makes it worthwhile. the night majestically vanishes in her eyes and now the sublte moment of exit is required. a wet t-shirt contest is no fun so lets get on the run, mini-bus waiting, you place or mine, oh its the same place great, on up on up the hill, now would be a good time to escape leave it as it is a fun night no harm done. but not now not tonight, kissing outside in the cold till the air bites and we escape indoors, rising to the fourth floor. into apparment, quick nip to the gents and chat on balcony before its time to come together, clothes slip off as vertical becomes horizontal and soon the kissing takes second place to the sex. nails dig, faces scrunch as once, twice, three times a lady, the strangest sensation as we share all within hours of meeting, well aware that she leaves tomorrow and this night is all we have. the pointless futile abadon of all is fragile and precious, did that mean anything to her have i just been used? fear and insecurity abound as sleep takes over.
morning comes that burning acid taste of hangover and sin, is more than can be tolerated, water please, ah yes water, now bleary eyes focus and a reassesment of the mysterious beauty from clubland, in cold day light... but still a beauty, awkwardness overcome with last nights jokes and memories, friends arrive and banter begins, exit stage left or remain? breakfast is suggested so why not, lets follow this path a little further and see where it ends.
it does soon, me too afraid to appear desperate and hang around too long, so off i go, to depression and emptiness, come play with me, just a while, i dont last long, i dont want you to know me, just tonight i can be whoever i want you to think i am. what sense do i make a beloved son of the most high God throwing away everthing for nothing.
i ponder this still days later in the chapel of gatwick airport waiting the final step back to belfast, i know i cant survive without Jesus, so i say sorry once more, in the completeness of his love he welcomes me a grace i never deserve is still there for me. and just a suddenly another kind of madness kicks off. as i pray in that place a man arrives frightening and confused, "tonight i will be tortured" by who by what, he is half spanish is this a misuse of phrase or is he for real? sacrificed and tortured, "pray with me" is what he wants, but how can i be here now to meet him, surely there is someone much better qualified than me to help this man in his darkest hour? i cant refuse, so off we go into the heart of God, as the rubbish is stripped off we both cry out afresh to Jesus, make us like you, give us strength. Passages of the bible take on a new impact in the face of death. My flight comes and goes but i cannot leave this man, if he is to die tonight. closer we are drawn, total strangers now hugging, and sharing who we really are and supporting as fear steps back and love and peace come in. no perfect answer but with courage he leaves assured that Jesus loves him.
did he die that night? i dont know i had flights to rebook and he wanted to left alone to face his fate, but i cannot forget his face or story. a couple of hours in one night shared in God's love, gives hope and life. how can Jesus love a hypcrit like me? i dont think he should, but he does so very much.

yesterday i arrive back the swirl of reality a little hard to take but eventually bed and 16hrs sleep seems to reset normality... a least for a while.

sleep :: max :: sleep

right now is project land in my life, the final part of my degree is pretty much due and as ususual i have left a lot of it till the last minute. I am working to link music to colour and visualisations, using colour and music theroy from all the way back to newton, scriban and kandisky, to make a computer prototype to process a dj's audio to make everyone have a better night out when they are clubbing.

unfortunately it involves quite a lot of complicated maths and annoying computer problems, but on the plus side my demonstration next wednesday is in a night club. (Soul Cellar 9pm if you are within "can be arsed" distance of southampton)

i am also really looking forward to my first ever snowboarding trip next friday :)

apart from that i might be youth worker in stoke on trent next year and have a couple more weddings to take photos at in the summer.

go buy some photos

for anyone who knows jimbo and janet, there wedding photos are now online yo. 50% of profits will be going to my home church's new halls program and i am skint so go buy some photos :)

for anyone in southampton soul cellar next wednesday my first true vj gig, demoing my 3rd year project audio visual software thingy. it should be monster

Godfather pt1

Amongst many other things going on I am now offically the Godfather to one Noah Price, cheers to ben the legend for asking me and danielle for having him :)
i will be going over to dote over him some time soon...
also booked to go snowboarding and hit the dry slope last night, its was awesome, by the end i had managed one or two decent wipeouts and can turn left but not right... bring on the snow :)

sam who

There is a nation which is trying to work with its people and stabalise its economy but it is attacked by foreign rebels and because its farmers must fight falls into drought.
One night the bbc have a special appeal for the situation...
A minister is watching the program, feels sorry for the people but remembers he has a sermon to write for sunday and switches off his tv.
A youth worker is watching the program and thinks how the kids arent so different from the ones he works with, but deciedes he had better stay in touch with youth culture and flicks on to MTV.
A gay junkie is lying on his sofa zoned out, when the program comes on, but it touches him, he hunts around on the floor, finds his mobile calls the number and gives half his dole money to the appeal. A few months down the line he reads the news letter from the charity he supported and gives away another half share of his months money to the replanting of fields to prevent drought in the following year.

which of these people was a neighbour to the people caught in drought?
Jesus said "Go and do the same." luke 10v37

monks kick ass

Click on the pic for an awesome animation from some random frenchies. The clip is good enough to justify a whole post but I have also now applied to go an do the spiritual excercises of St. Ignatius in the summer, which would be awesome, its 30 day retreat down in dublin run by the jesuits... BLAM!

cool stuff

also in the music vien Erol Alkan has loads of mixes to be downloaded as podcasts from his site including essential selections and glasto stuff, if you dont know who he is or what eletro is, I challenge you to get one turn up the volume full blast and dance your ass off. (it might take a wee while to get into but stick with it - trust me)

Annie Mac

This is a wee bit of design i did tonight as a tribute to Annie Mac's set on boxing nite, which although is ages ago now was brilliant. She is a radio one dj and you can listen again to her thurs nite show here She blew Jacques Le Cont out of the water that night, and he's a legend.

head dump

Its been a while and a lot of stuff has happened, i have been on and off the rails although i think i am learning things all the time.

I think by definition there is a wildness and passion about us, a inclanation to take risks which presents the opportunity for our greatest achievements and disasters. To kill this off is to kill of a part of who we are and the dead stagnation that leads to is disgusting.

"Love the Lord you God will all your heart and all your soul and all your strength and all your mind".
"David... danced before the LORD with all his might"
The first few chapters of Mark's gospel

At the minute my experience of organised religion makes little room for us to be undignifed, to loose control in God's presence. This can be done one on one with God and that is cool, but a corporate experience is healthy, to be surrounded by a mass of two hundred people all going crazy to intense music is a beautiful.

Basically i think that our current attitude to faith makes no allowance for the full breath of who we are, and as long as we pretend we are logical machines refusing to acknowledge our passion, we can never step into our true destiny in God. Jesus went forty days in the desert the devil tempting him in everyway, but he came out of it fully knowing himself, fully understanding who he was and his identity as God's son, and he performed miracles, exposed the phirasees hipocracy and generally was a legend. Not afraid of what might happen when he hung around prostitutes, or embraced lepers.

How can i say i know the first thing about Jesus if i have never healed anyone, reading the start of mark, its like saying im training to be a footballer and never kicked a ball...

So above is just where im thinking now, but ulimately so far id say my discipleship hasnt really started

silence

got a bit on with exams, courseworks and all that so have been and will continue to be quiet ;)
however still loving...
releveant magazine now with free music videos the only consistently cool christian website in the world?? stick any you know in the commetns, particularly loving the streets being on there..

the stuff that goes on...

The NRA(national rifle association) are scumbags check this artical about how they helped fund an ad that turned public opinion in brazil against a gun ban in their country. I dont understand why people love guns, I was in cadets I have fired guns, it is fun, but it kills ppl. Statistically the most likely ppl you are going to kill if you own a gun is family member. The whole yank issue runs as deep as their nation is old from shooting indians off their land, etc and like if they all want to run around killing each other then go for it, but brazil! feck aff, its an awesome country and their interferance has undoubtedly meant ppl are going to die needlessly, because they are afraid they might loose their rights in america.
but i mean what is that a right to carry a gun? thats not a right, food water and air are rights and at the minute several billion people struggle to get much more than air to breathe and die cause of it and they are running round the world going you all need a gun. seriously
right rant over
apart from that christams has been great it has been a bit derailed but i have once again been feeling the love from my friends in belfast, you guys make it home. the highlight was boxing night hearing Annie Mac totally upstage Jacques le Cont in the spring and airbrake. She was immense, had the whole crowd going crazy and between the two of them we were dancing for over 4hours, love it.