head dump

Its been a while and a lot of stuff has happened, i have been on and off the rails although i think i am learning things all the time.

I think by definition there is a wildness and passion about us, a inclanation to take risks which presents the opportunity for our greatest achievements and disasters. To kill this off is to kill of a part of who we are and the dead stagnation that leads to is disgusting.

"Love the Lord you God will all your heart and all your soul and all your strength and all your mind".
"David... danced before the LORD with all his might"
The first few chapters of Mark's gospel

At the minute my experience of organised religion makes little room for us to be undignifed, to loose control in God's presence. This can be done one on one with God and that is cool, but a corporate experience is healthy, to be surrounded by a mass of two hundred people all going crazy to intense music is a beautiful.

Basically i think that our current attitude to faith makes no allowance for the full breath of who we are, and as long as we pretend we are logical machines refusing to acknowledge our passion, we can never step into our true destiny in God. Jesus went forty days in the desert the devil tempting him in everyway, but he came out of it fully knowing himself, fully understanding who he was and his identity as God's son, and he performed miracles, exposed the phirasees hipocracy and generally was a legend. Not afraid of what might happen when he hung around prostitutes, or embraced lepers.

How can i say i know the first thing about Jesus if i have never healed anyone, reading the start of mark, its like saying im training to be a footballer and never kicked a ball...

So above is just where im thinking now, but ulimately so far id say my discipleship hasnt really started