Monday, August 19, 2013
Right now there is a lot going on, Natalie (my wife) and i are in the process of moving country which required moving out of our house to live with my parents for a while. The move is a big step of destiny for Natalie and I so there is a lot of emotional turbulence, my work is full on, we are getting ready to pack everything up into the back of our small car and I have been ebaying and gumtreeing a lot to raise a few extra £...
It the midst of the chaos I can feel pretty isolated and overwhelmed. When I loose a sense of God's hand in control, I become task orientated and start trying to do as much as I can to try and find some peace, which leads to exhaustion.... but then the alarm goes off and its go time again...
When Natalie gets overwhelmed, she freaks out in a more obvious way, and my desire to encourage and clam her down rightly encroaches on and takes priority over lots of the other tasks...
So on saturday morning when i sat down to have some time with Jesus, Papa and Holy Spirit there was more than a headful of tasks, and partial lists swimming around...
But somehow God in His infinite grace and general awesomeness broke in...
"But ill take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they are going.
I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through the unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch."
"I have taken responsibility for you, kept you safe"
"Do you feel like a lowly worm...? Don't be afriad
Feel like a fragile insect...? I'll help you. I, God will reassure you.
The God who buys you back. The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
from insect to iron.
As a sharp-toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
turn those old hills into loamy soil"
(all Isaiah 41 msg)
From my perspective I'm not meant to have it all figured out, I don't have to have the plan, I can trust my Papa, my heavenly dad, and know without a shadow of a doubt that he has got us. He knows what He is doing, he has blessed me so much and lead me step by step and He is not giving up. I don't need to know what the future holds or have it all planned out to be at peace, to trust in Him. I am just relax and know that it is going to all be ok. No matter what. As that revelation oozes into my brain and heart, i can breath deeply, i can just enjoy time with my most beautiful wife without the next task dominate my thinking. i can feel like a human being again.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Friday, March 05, 2010
The Sun shines brightly all over the world.
It is no respecter of wealth, title or situation
No matter who you are, it shines on you
You can pull the curtains and hide indoors
but once you step outside... BOOM
You are bathed in glorious golden rays
the sudden warmth brings out goosebumps
You stop to let your eyes re-adjust...
In that moment you are united
with all people everywhere,
past, present and future,
who were briefly arrested
in this bright shiny moment
all troubles, pressures & demands...
I love the son and the son loves me.
A massively distant and spectacularly huge
explosion is positioned perfectly,
to remind me of life's simple beauty
however fleeting, it whets my appetite to discover more
An old middle eastern scroll promises sunlight's
instant of light and lightness is not a cruel tease
but a hint of a glorious light.
A supremely huge & tenacious power
who shines his light of love
just as indiscriminately on all people.
Not a distant explosion, He is a personal father
who counts the hair on your head,
excited and delighted
by the simple humanity each one of us possess
So step in that bright sonlight
let his love warm your bones
he loves to lift trouble pressures and demands
and set you free
Friday, February 06, 2009
his love is too passionate and true
it is the creative spark that birthed the planet
it tears apart nothingness and monotony
and births a universe of life, fun, vibrant and real
this cannot be fitted in the old ways
but comes into the new place and fresh revelation
memories are grace not to be lived on
always there is more always, there is more
tradition is death, there is no script
we cannot write one, to much changes always
he always wants to be in conversation
living out of us
dear near, dear deep,
learn to be the future
step forward into destiny
wild and free
wild and free
wild and free
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Its Seven years almost to the day from when I donated my last $200 to a charity in mexico and set off trusting that God would provide a way for me to travel 1800 miles in 7 days to make a flight home. It was an adventure that was taken alone, one at the time I felt was the only alternative to denouncing the reality of my faith...
I just read "Into the Wild" its a book piecing together the account of another young idealist who sadly died on an extended adventure in alaska.
However, romantic and exciting such trips away from normal life and civilisation seem, there always seems to be a necessary element of self-indulgant escapism, or maybe just simply running away. I think a perceived failure to live up to other peoples standards can leave a burning desire to prove "I can make it on my own" "I fear ill fail you in this relationship so Ill keep you at a distance"
but the cost is high as loneliness is the only possible outcome of avoiding intimacy and no amount of passport stamps of gigs to thousands of people can replace that...
So maybe its time to come in from the wild...
To trust people enough to let them close...
to realise that its relationships that really matter and that they are costly and hard work, but they are also the most beautiful gift God ever gave us...