staaory bud? (hello in a dublin accent)

herad a guy from josuha generation speak tonight. it was great, he was talking about holistic, relational, lifestyle Christianity, no secular just everything that God made good and some of it having fallen futher that the rest, ie a brothel has fallen further than a hospital but that doesnt mean that Jesus isnt there loving the people where they are at working girls, clients and pimps.
It was just a breath of the fresh air i havnt really been breathing here, God has been talkin to me but when everyone around you is a different vibe its impossible not to be influenced into the old secular/holy divide. I also met some ppl who were really welcoming loving open and passionate for God. I have met some ppl like that here already but somehow i havent really connected with them, maybe cause i havent spent enough time with them or i am a few years younger... i dont know but right now i kinda feel like i am settling for second best. but at the same time i dont know if i am asking too much or expecting too much from the community of believers, if i am being selfish and more importantly expecting them to provide what Jesus Himself would give me if i just asked Him for it.

but then the disciples did the early church as a big community, and much as it hurts my pride i really do need ppl to support me, here and now not just in soton much as communication is good its just not the same. it sucks that i might have to turn my back on a set of relationships i had begun to form, but the words of prophecy and prayers of my most trusted family say i should be in a time of training but i am pretty starving right now.

the is the other question of practical use, and what am i being? focusing on God and trying to love ppl at work is cool but there are a many things that i could help with or be involved in to help other ppl. the clubbing thing does really seem to be happening so i am not sure if that means i should forget it or if it means i should show a bit of endurance and go at it a bit harder?

sorry if this is spirtual jargon / double dutch to anyone it far to late to be translating...
peace g