Hope of Glory

this is a picture a drew in my journal today.

It kinda sums up how im feeling. Pretty crap but sure that God has "the love I
need to get me through" (olive - your not alone TUNE)

On Friday I was driving too fast, skidded around a corner and cracked the front
wheel off the kerb. Thankfully I didnt hit anyone or thing else but for the sake
of putting the brakes on two seconds earlier it is costing me £150 I dont have
and so much grief with the parents.

Basically I perpetually damage the car, say sorry, help out round the house and
then a wee while later do it all again. It got me thinking about how
many of the mistakes I make in my life over and over and over again.

Everytime its like, "Well at least I wont do that again" but really I do.
How do I learn my lesson how do I change? I think on one level I need to wind
my neck in eg dont drive like a lunatic, but then on a deeper level and for
loads of the other stuff, its a bit like paul when he said

"I decide to do good, but i dont really do it; i decide not to do bad, but then i do it anyway.
My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong
deep within me and gets the better of me every time." - rom 7v19>

he then goes on in romans 8 to give a hope for how this might be changed,

3God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all.

5Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them--living and breathing God! 6 Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. 7 Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God....

12 So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it--yourself life one red cent. 13 There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. 14 God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

I think this is the hardest part for me, to trust that there really is a God who cares about each moment I am alive, that He has little adventures in each day, and that I dont have to run around trying to achieve something on my own but just listen to Him.

but two things I am sure of I really dont want to ding the car again....
I really dont want to do to cheat on anyone else...