Sunday, September 21, 2003

sorry about the long time no blog

especially to ems d, i argued that i wasnt a crap blogger last time i was chatting to her

very tired, went to sleep about 4 woke and few times got up at 9 went to church then work now here.
was out for Jo's birthday a good night quite crazy, we were in 32(a group of friends student house) having a wee party and Jo's mum had bought some food and beers. Then we went to Vicos'(a nasty belfast club that plays great music and is generally full of wasted ppl) about 11:20 most of the rest of the crewe were doing pills but not really too heavy and we did some good dancing, then i was dancing with jo a bit and it seemed like maybe something was going to happen so i ran off to the toilet for a pray, phoned Joe(differnt to Jo) for some good advice and returned to the club resloved to not kiss Jo, which was cool, i went up to another floor of the club with a few other friends so the temptation was removed and everything was great and i was dancing and then i sat down and got into a really cool spiritiual discussion with one of the girls, about how she felt under pressure from some christian friends but didnt think she could "be a christian" and we were sitting close cause the music was really loud and then we were kissing... DOH
out of the frying pan into the fire, my will power and self control once more found totally lacking, walked back to 32 with the girl and then spent a long time together and ended up sleeping in her bed, but not sleeping with her, if you know what i mean... total disaster especially because my mate mike had been saying how he really respected my fatih and how i was the only genuine christian he knew.... i mean if christianity was a job id be fired
but then church was all about the God, our dad's love, and the prodical son and all the things about how God loves me even thought i am crap, so that was cool that He came a sorted me out but seriously the whole dersire for women thing finding it a BIG challenge right now.
actually considering saying i have a girl friend when i go back to uni, but then i think God's spirit will do a lot more to help me than lies will...
big up claire porter for praying for me last night, because without those prayers things could have been a lot worse.
so all prayers/ advice welcomed....

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